i am an educated uneducatedatblogging blogger!lol  its been so long since i peeked in here!  a lot has gone on this past year, to me, bad, but i guess it depends on who you are and how you think it should be!  for one thing, the year started with me having neck surgery January 18 quite unexpectedly...i had a large bone spur on the spinal cord causing the nerves to my left arm to be compressed which is what had been causing me so much pain the past four months prior to that!  In addition, i have what my husband has, degenerative disc...So two days after the dr. told me I needed surgery, I was having surgery!! And without going into details, very very unexpectedly on January 30, my husband of 30 years left me...i honestly don't know the reason for sure....his legal papers say one thing, and he has said another on a couple different occassions.  I know the legal one isn't true...but a lot of what he said isn't true...and i guess alot of what he said isn't true! get it.......sooo,
unable to work yet, its been a hard year.  John has been kind enough to let me have the military retire portion of his pay, but that doesn't actually cover the expenses completely, so i go back and forth between who gets paid what when!  I did cancel my direct tv, verizon wireless, satelite internet, had to cancel pet insurance as it was coming out of his postal accnt and he had that changed...i became a very good extreme couponer for awhile...can only be one when i have the money for the coupons!lol  I was selling my kritter kreations and other krocheted goods, but i have a 'restraining order' that says i can't do that!...hmmmm.....
i've lost some weight...was doing good but gained about 15 lbs of it back...and right now i have a bum knee so not much doing the exercise thing but i hope once all this get settled and i can get a regular income coming in, that i can start going to the gym again...I really enjoyed it!
i originally wanted to leave here and move as far away as i could!  Its so hard when you still love someone knowing they are living in another town with another person...ok, supposedly renting from this other person...and because i love the man i married and believe in our vows and have always believed in him..when he says he didn't i believe him...even if i shouldn't!

I promise to someday learn to take time to become a good blogger.  I do like to write and have always found comfort in writing down my thoughts and feelings, but since the last time I wrote in here I've lived in he'll.  My husband once again left unexpectedly, but this time for good.  He divorced me in July after 32 years of marriage.  I'll catch up one of these days..for now I'm busy with my crocheting...doing my best to keep my hobby active and make it a profitable business helping supplement my alimony beings necknsurgeries have made it impossible for me to work and wonderful government has denied my disability apps.

wow, its been forever since i blogged!!  no excuse, especially since i'm online daily and quite a bit!  but, in all fairness, i'm mostly online on my favorite 'social' site, Ravelry.  A whole heck of a lot has happened since the last time i jotted in here...almost like Groundhog Day...seems like i keep waking up to the same scene over and over again!! but.....its 'late',,,,perhaps i'll remember to 'jot' the rest of the story later on tonight...beings its already morning and time for me to get a few hours of sleep:)

bad bad blogger

well, i admit it, i'm a bad bad blogger.....the last 6 months or so was just so icky....i mostly didn't want to exist, but had to....thankfully thanksgiving came....because my hubby spending it alone made him think, and, as he said, 'pull his head out of his arse'.....and the first week of december he came back home! am i happy? of course...things are better, except for his pain...samantha and josh got their own place the same weekend john moved back home! i miss little Bailey kitty, but he's their kitty:( we were going to go buy two kitties at the pet store, but the more i think of it the more i don't think its a good idea...i still miss tigger so much...i don't want to go through that pain again of losing a pet....
i finished a medical transcription course, so now i have that and medical coding training, not that it will do me much good...most jobs that are out there want someone with at least one year's experience...meanwhile, i spent today 'powerkritterkreating'!! finished up putting together a bunch of kritters, now they are in need of embellishing and then off to my etsy store!!
in fact, its time for me to go get busy!! i'll try to post here more often...at least for now there is no sadness to post, and i hope that it stays away for a longggg longggg time!

and life is still going on....

well, i haven't been blogging because quite honestly life has been so sucky....my husband left me sept 2 quite unexpectedly....and yes i still was and am grieving over tig and i always will....managed to get a job briefly this month but it made my vertigo so much worse...the day i chose to quit was the day my daughter had been robbed at gunpoint in the early morning at her work...thankfully physically she is fine! on my way home from work(12 hours) i called my sis in idaho to see how my bil's mri was(and my mom was in the hospital with pancreatitis).....my sis asked if i was home so i knew something was up.....my mom had died...........they aren't having a funeral or service...they had her cremated....perhaps a service at a later time...
and hubby came over yesterday to get some of his stuff....i feel alone like i've been abandoned...i hope he gets back to counselling and realizes family is more important than anything....i know i am going to keep going to counselling...someone needs to help me keep my brain from getting overly tangled!!
i still kreate kritters...went to our local fiber festival this weekend which is everyyear and a lot of people loved my kreations...am thinking of doing up a website...but for now i'll stick with etsy...and i need to get busy as this is my only income for now beings hubby has the funds he earns going to his own account somewhere?!! meanwhile.....life still goes on............and tigg kitty mama misses and loves you....and i know you are protecting me!:)

really been awhile!

and right now life is probably the suckiest of all! first my job was going great, and i actually enjoyed it...lost 12 lbs, went down a size in jeans and top! so i figured i'm getting free gym membership...my face usually sweats alot but i have long thick hair i wear in a bun on top my head so that kinda blocks the heat in! anyways, a couple saturdays ago we had to do mandatory work...inventory and cleaning, because some bigwigs from navstar were coming in...my shift got the cleaning duty...but not inside like i thought, instead, outside in the parking lots and yard...apparently that place doesn't have a warehouse so everything is stored in boxes and bins outside...so we had to clean up old crap, remove things from the waterdrenched cardboard boxes they are in, etc...well, i wasn't happy about it but i worked with my shift and others...and wasn't too worried about the weather..it was 7am and overcast...but by 11am it was sunny and getting hot...and i'm on two meds that i am not suppose to work in prolonged sunlight....so i told one of the people that was sort of in charge i thought....i was trying to find a shady place to work and he said there wouldn't be any.....
soooo.. i went back to work...we had lunch break and the bosses(ok, the operations manager and plant manager and a couple others) served us kfc, and of course i got the looks like i was a leper or something! back to work...then break at about 215...thats when the safety officer came to me and said they were gonna send me home beings i wasn't suppose to be in the sun....this is only 4 1/2 hours after i told them!
so i get home and look in the mirror and boy is my face red!! sunburnt and hot i suppose...i was pretty much fine the next day and went to work as usual sunday night...monday night again worked as usual, except my supervisor asked me if i wanted some overtime...heck yea,,,so i stayed and worked...ended up working almost 12 hours!! boy was i sore and tired when i left there, but i had to go make a vehicle payment, pick up soninlaw, and then went to the grocery store to get my yogurt and drinks for work!! got home, got a shower, and about an hour after i fell asleep the phone rang...it was adecco, the temp agency i was working through....
apparently the operations manager, gene, thought that maybe the work environment wasn't safe for my health so asked them to release me from my contract! omg was i soooo pissed.......what the heck...gerald the adecco guy who hired me out told me to not worry...but i couldn't work til he got ahold of the hr person there, and she was due back wednesday from vacation...i told him the big wigs from navstar were due in wednesday so there was no way he would hear anything...he didn't, til friday...he called me and told me it was a done deal, they still felt it was best for my health..!! i had even gone to adecco wednesday and showed gerald my face and he said he couldn't see anything wrong!! then he said trust him that they trust his judgement of character...ha,,,i still am unemployed now!! what a sucky thing...
personal life is just sucky right now...but i'm thinking positive which i think is positively stupid of me!! and i still cry for and miss tigger kitty a lot....sweet hugs my tigger baby...someday i'll be with you again!

its been awhile..........

since i've posted in here...first got so depressed over tig i decided to stay away from this because it seems to be my 'outlet' for grief....then i finally got a job...now its not what kind of job i had hoped for, but its a job...and i work 3rd shift, and last week was my first full week and i had to do overtime by working friday night,,,so saturday night i was off and tonight back to work!! i am soo worn out by the time i get home i sleep til its time to go to work again..i guess i'm an injection mold operator? i simply take the pieces that are made and trim whatever or add brackets or whatever and package them up...its an easy job so far, but boy is it hotter than heck and i move alot!! i've lost 8 lbs in my first week,,,mostly because i only eat a yogurt on my lunch break....its so hot i don't want anything but cool...i was drinking a lot of mountain dew and now don't like it so finally gave in the other day and started drinking water...which i still don't like but it tastes as bad watered down as it does to start with!!lol...still miss my Tig very much...and the past few days Mr Husband has been a total asshat...which makes me miss Tig even more because he was my buddy and gave me loves ....now its just me..................off to take a nap for work tonight..........miss you so very much Tiggerboy....life sucks without you:(